Growing into Yourself Through Relationships | For Teenagers, Young Adults and the Families Growing Alongside Them

Much of my work with families involves helping them look beyond visible behaviour and understand what may be happening within each person, between family members and across generations.

In my therapy room, I often meet parents who are highly capable in their professional lives. They lead teams, make difficult decisions and solve complex problems with confidence.

Yet at home, a closed door, a one-word reply or another argument with their teenager can leave them feeling helpless—sometimes even questioning their competence as parents.

The more worried parents become, the more they may ask, remind or correct. The more pressured their teenager feels, the more they may withdraw or push back.

The growing distance then increases the parents’ fear, and both can become caught in a painful cycle.

It is rarely a lack of love or ability. Sometimes, the qualities that help us lead and solve problems at work are not the same qualities that a changing relationship at home asks of us.

That is why I put together Growing Into Yourself Through Relationships—a reflective relational resource that brings some of the perspectives and questions I use in therapy into a form that families can engage with beyond the therapy room.

Adolescence and young adulthood can be complex stages of growth. A young person may be reaching for greater independence while still needing connection, belonging and guidance. Parents, too, are learning how to remain close as the relationship changes.

The push and pull can feel intense and confusing.

This reflects how I support families in therapy—not by deciding who is right or wrong, but by helping them slow down the cycle, understand what each person may be carrying, and find a different way of relating to one another.

My hope is that this resource offers families a place to pause, look beyond behaviour and blame, and become curious about what may be happening within the young person, between family members and across generations.

Growing into yourself should not have to mean growing away from your family.

Read through the resource below and share it with a parent, teenager or young adult who may need a different way of understanding what is happening at home.

For families who feel caught in the same painful conversations, change may begin by creating space for a different one.

—Cheryl Chin Yi Fen

Individual, Couple & Family Therapist

Certified Multigenerational Family Therapist

Certified Clinical Supervisor

ATTUNE Relational Therapy Centre

#Growingintoyourselfthroughrelationships #Familytherapy #Adolescence #Parentrelationship #Multigenerationalfamilytherapy #Relationalhealth